Hickups [TG, MC]

 

“Free sample?”

“No, I’m good thanks.” James huffed as he swept past the coffee shop worker. Today was not James’ day. There was no sugarcoating it, he’d just been fired from work. He had serious debts to pay. He had a wife at home to provide for and he had no idea how.

“Free sample?”

“No.” He had no desire to be polite. He was at the lowest point in his 45 years of living. Shit. How was he gonna tell Jenny? Questions barrelled through his mind as he kept his head down, desperate to escape the hustle and bustle of the city centre and get to the train station.

“Free sample?”

“…” god, what was with all of these fucking samples? The last thing he needed right now was a fucking sample of something he didn’t even have the funds to pay for anymore. Couldn’t they see that James was a man in a hurry?

*thud*

“Hey!” Came the voice of a teenage girl, As he walked hurriedly down the street, James must have caught her and sent them flying to the ground. Shit, no time to stop and apologise, his train left in 10 minutes.

“Hey, she’s talking to you, asshole!” A second voice continued. Clearly they must be in a group. James considered turning around and giving the girls an admittedly ironic lecture about manners, but quickly thought better of it. He had much better fish to fry, turning a corner, his mind continued to race. What about children? Jenna always wanted a child. How the hell could they afford that now? How was he to-

“Free sample?”

“Oh my god! If I take one will you stop fucking bothering me?!” James finally snapped. Regret immediately filling his mind.

“Oh, I’m sorry sir. You’re not obliged to-“

“No, no. That was my fault… sorry.” James apologised. For a moment, he had forgotten that this was a fourth sperate worker, rather than the same person who had been pestering him. They had no idea what he was going through.

“It’s okay, sir. I get it. Stressful times and all.” The worker gingerly joked, still slightly nervous of James’ patience.

“I know, I know” he agreed. “Hey, what the hell, I’ll try a sample.” He conceded. He’d already stopped, so what was the harm? On the tray stood several tiny plastic cups, around the size of a shot glass, with various different liquids. James scanned briefly, before settling on the green cup. Picking the glass up, and sarcastically raising his arm as if to cheers, James leaned back and swallowed the whole drink in one. It was good, really good. It was aggressively sweet, and yet not sickly at all. Genuinely euphoric to the taste buds. Despite his misery, James couldn’t help but smile. Matter of fact, what was he even so worried about to begin with? Life was just, like, so good right now!

“That’s, like, so good!” James gleamed, “can I have more?” James was met by a disappointing shake of the head from the worker.

“Sorry, one sample per customer.” He replied, confirming James’ fears. “But we do have a pop up store just down the road you came from.”

“Thanks!” James smiled, taking a mental note for next time, and continuing on his way. “Wow, what a great drink!” He thought, “it almost made me forget all about my issues, like… my job…. And my wife…. Oh god.” Suddenly, James found his newfound joy draining away. It was as if the drink was a drug, sharp in its peak but heavy with its crash. And boy, was James crashing. Matter of fact, as he walked, he found his mental state stooping lower than it was before. Shit. And now he was going to be late for his train. Double shit.

“I… have to have more.” He thought, stopping in his tracks, turning around, and making a beeline for the pop up store.

The glass doors of the gentrified store burst open as James came rushing in. The man making a beeline for the counter. Luckily for him, there was no queue to be found, a luxury he was sure would diminish as more people discovered the miracle juice.

“Hi, what can I get for you?” The young woman behind the counter asked politely, a smile plastered across her face.

“One juice… the green one… please.” James almost begged in response.

“Sure, small medium or-“

“Large.” He butted in. He didn’t care how much it cost. It’s not like he’d be able to pay rent next month anyway… oh god.

“Sure! I’ll call your name when it’s ready!” The woman chirped. Oh no, he had to wait? James stumbled into a seat near to the counter. He wasn’t sure he could wait… his desire was quickly becoming a need, a requirement to his life. The jarring sound of blenders swirled thoughts of homelessness, living off the generosity of others. Regrets of ignoring beggars, unaware that he would one day stand in their shoes. Shit. Maybe he could run away, fake his death, start a new life as someone else, he-

“James!” Came the welcoming call of his order. Thank god. The drink was to James as a Mirage to a thirsty desert wanderer. One giant, half litre cup, filled to the brim with juicy, green liquid. Practically snatching the cup from the worker, James took one glance, placed the straw in his mouth, and sucked.

He sucked, and sucked and sucked.

He didn’t care if it made him sick, he needed that sweet juicy high at any cost necessary. He sucked and sucked and sucked. And before he knew it, the drink was empty.

Practically collapsing onto the nearest chair, James sat back and waited expectantly for the same, euphoric feeling that overcame him just minutes ago.

Yet nothing came.

Furrowing his brow, James felt his heart sink, as… nothing changed? Was it all a scam? Were those “samples” laced with a real drug, rather than a metaphorical one? Was he simply at the wrong store? New, curious questions filled his mind as, dejectedly, he contemplated just sucking it up and going home, or perhaps asking the staff if he’d ordered the wrong drink? Either way, he-

*hick*

Oh shit, the drink had done at least something; given him the hiccups! To be fair to himself, he had practically drank the thing in one gulp. Sighing to himself, he picked up his empty cup with his… oddly manicured hand? Looking down, he noticed that his other hand appeared the same. Small, dainty, well kept nails, they looked completely out of place on his-

*hick*

-thin, hairless arms? Rubbing his finger across them, he noticed his skin was silky smooth to the touch, as if they had been shaven frequently. But, he never shaved his arms? Hm, odd. Perhaps the drink had some kind of skin care effect? If so, it was mighty fast! James made mental note to keep track of his skin over the next few days, and elected it was time to go home. He was starting to get a bit sweat in his work attire. Before he stood, however, he noticed a shoelace was loose. Huffing, the man leaned down to tie his-

*hick*

White, trendy sneakers? James raised an eyebrow in confusion. When did he put these on? He’d always worn black dress shoes to work, and besides, these shoes were like, at least 5 times too small for him. But yet, they fit? It was as if his feet had shrunk somehow? No, that was impossible! James finished tying his shoes and stood up. Contemplating the hour long train journey ahead, the man thought best to use the bathroom before he left. But where could he find one?

“Excuse me miss? You don’t have a-

*hick*

-bathroom in here, do you?” He asked in his high, girly voice.

“Sure! Just down the corridor to the left!” The woman replied, as James attempted to clear his throat. God, that was embarrassing! He sounded completely like a woman to that girl there. Wincing inwardly with cringe, James made his way into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. It was a one person, unisex bathroom, so he had complete privacy. Sitting down (though he wasn’t sure why, he only needed to pee) James contemplated his experience with the drink. It was odd, though his hiccups were rampant, he didn’t feel sickly at all? And, though he said it quietly, he was starting to feel a bit better? Finishing his business, James stood up and pulled up his-

*hick*

-baggy, blue jeans? Okay, that was odd. He was absolutely wearing suit pants before, and he wouldn’t be seen dead in these jeans! Was that a butterfly on the side? Nono, these couldn’t be his. They didn’t even fit him and his-

*hick*

Long, thick legs? Nono, that definitely wasn’t right. James took a moment to stare down in confusion. His legs did not look like that. He knew damn well what his legs looked like. He was 45! He stopped growing physically over 20 years ago. Though a quick glance up would dispel any suspicions of growing as, if anything, it appeared as if James had become shorter? No, that DEFINITELY wasn’t possible. Maybe that drink had drugs in it after all! Trying to regain a grip on himself, James approached the bathroom mirror, looking at himself in his-

*hick*

Blue, round, dough like eyes. Wait, no. James had brown eyes. He knew that. So why did they appear blue? And was that eyeliner he saw? No that was madness. This must be some kind of practical joke mirror, like the kind you’d see in a funhouse. Still, he didn’t see any distortion anywhere… though he couldn’t tell if his-

*hick*

-small, feminine nose looked the way it was supposed to. Hm. Perhaps he was imagining such a thing.

“Hah! drink is making me paranoid!” James laughed, the worlds trickling out of his-

*hick*

-soft, kissable lips. Huh. James examined himself closer. Was he wearing lipstick? How long had that been there? He certainly hadn’t put that on himself! The man figured best to wipe it off once he got home, rather than now. He wasn’t sure why. Stepping out of the bathroom, James stopped by the window. Peering outside, he couldn’t help but notice the volume of trash being thrown around in the wind. Odd, it must have picked up whilst he was inside.

“Heyy, do you have, like, a hairband or anything?” He asked the staff worker.

“Yeah, sure, what for?”

“Oh, it’s…” James paused. Why did he need a hair band? He wasn’t entirely sure.

“Oh yeah! It’s so I can-

*hick*

-Tie up my hair! It’s super windy outside!” He finally blurted out, as the worker passed the band to James, tying up his thick, blonde hair into a bob , as if he’d been doing so his entire life.

“Do you, like, have any more samples?” He asked, smiling.

“No, I’m afraid not.” The woman frowned. “All of our samples are being handed out on the streets, you’ll have to find them!”

James laughed. “Oh, I’ll be looking! Those are like, the best drinks I’ve tried in my 45-

*hick*

-37-

*hick*

-24-

*hick*

-19 years of living!” He giggled, making his way to the exit.

Stepping outside, James took a moment to examine his-

*hick*

HER fit in the reflection of the window. She had to admit, she was quite proud of this one. Her favourite trainers and butterfly jeans perfectly complimented her-

*hick*

-cream coloured zip-up hoodie, which fit her loosely. Of course, she had to wear something underneath, and she’d made the perfect choice with her-

*hick*

-white crop top, which she had to admit, showcased her feminine, hourglass figure perfectly. Though the top made no sacrifices in showing off her-

*hick*

-perfectly sized boobs. Yup, this was a fit to be proud of.

“Jasmine! Jasmine!” A voice called. James turned, confused, to see a group of teenage girls around her age approaching her. “Jasmine! There you are, we didn’t know where you’d gone!” One of the girls spoke, directly to him.

“Jasmine? Who’s Jasmine?” He asked sincerely, much to the confusion of the girls.

“Like, you’re Jasmine, genius!” One girl replied, giggling.

“Jasmine?” James responded. “I’m not Jasmine, my names-

*hick*

-like, totally Jasmine! I’m just messing with you!” Jasmine giggled, her friend’s following suite.

“You’re such a ditz, girl!” Chloe teased, “now come on, we’re going to the movies!”

“That sounds great!” Jasmine smiled, her phone buzzing with a text. “Wait, actually, I might need to go. My mom’s calling me home, and the train’s like, an hour.” She said, a hint of sadness in her tone.

“Oh, that blows!” Mia frowned. “But, like, we’ll see you tomorrow!”

“Oh, yeah, of course!” Jasmine giggled, the realisation hitting her. “I’ll totally see you tomorrow!”

Jasmine waved goodbye to her friends, before making her way over to the train station. It had been an amazing day for her, and she couldn’t WAIT to see what the future held for her!